


Too Tired

by voltron



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: I'm Sorry, Lee Felix-centric, Suicide Attempt, other members are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 13:25:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16265120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voltron/pseuds/voltron
Summary: Felix is tired.





	Too Tired

**Author's Note:**

> i love stray kids very much and my writing (is rubbish) doesn't reflect what i want to happen or anything like that.

All Felix want’s to do is rest. He just want’s to sleep forever. But it’s too much to ask, he is part of a group now, he has to put the work in.

His days are long, today he gets up at seven has a shower and gets ready, takes his medicine, he can’t eat breakfast now. He watches as everyone else around him eats, they ask him why he isn’t eating but he doesn’t say anything, he just shrugs and the others don’t question it any further knowing how tired he is.

it’s around eight thirty when he decides to leave, it’s sunday today and he signed up for korean lessons to help him because people always say he isn’t good enough. the other members have their own things to do, Chan will be working on there next album with Jisung and Changbin, Minho and Hyunjin will most likely be going to a dance class, Seungmin and Jeongin are going shopping and Woojin is tagging a long with them to make sure they are okay and don’t get into trouble.

it takes him about forty minutes to walk there, this allows him to get to class twenty minutes early so he can get a good seat towards the back out of everyone’s way. His lesson starts at nine thirty and last until eleven thirty, he tries to pay a attention and listen to what the teacher is saying but he just can’t seem to concentrate. He makes as many notes as possible so that he can look over them when he feels better, but at this rate it’ll be never, he has a pile of notes on his desk in the room that he needs to look over but he never has the motivation to do it.

After his lesson is over he makes his way over to the JYP building, which takes him about an hour to get there. He has a practice room book from one till five every sunday.

Once he gets there he signs in and gives a quick bow to the guy behind the desk. He makes his way up to the room he booked and gets to work. He spends a round about seventy minutes on improving his rapping, seventy minutes on improving his singing, he then has a half an hour break for him to eat some food. After the break is over he will spend seventy minutes on his dance, he normally enjoys this part but as of lately he’s been too tired to enjoy anything.

As well as all of that he is meant to have a three hour work out at the gym tonight but he skips it. For all good reason.

He gets back at around six thirty, with all the other members there to greet him. He goes straight into his room, sits at the desk with a paper and pen and writes.

**_Hey guys,_ **

**_i’m sorry. i’m so sorry._ **

**_none of this is your fault and i love you all very much. this is something i did on my own accord, my fault nobody else’s._ **

**_i hope you don’t think it is selfish of me, i hope you will understand if not now maybe one day._ **

**_you made me very happy and are my family, and i’m sorry that i couldn’t make myself happy enough to be able to stay with you._ **

**_i know that it’s stay don’t stray but i must stray just this one last time._ **

**_Stray Kids Fighting, i hope you do well_ **

**_all my love,_ **

**_Felix_ **

  
He had to make it short and to the point so that he wouldn’t cry whilst he wrote it. He walks out of his room letter in hand and places it on the kitchen table, along with his bag and his phone, he makes his way over to the door and he shouts a quick “goodbye, i love you” into the dorm before shutting the door behind him.

His tears start to fall as he begins the climb to the roof. He figured out a few weeks ago that the lock on the door was broken, you just have to give the door a hard push. He pushes hard onto the door and feels the cold crisp air pinch at his skin. He walks towards the edge of the building that doesn’t face the street. He slowly climbs over the fence that blocks him from the edge. His tears are flooding out of his eyes now and it makes it hard for him to see.

He holds onto the fence with both hands and leans over the edge. He slowly begins to peel each finger from the fence which makes his hold weaker and weaker. He is holding on tight with his left fore finger and thumb. His grip begins to loosen, he closes his eyes tight, he takes his last deep breath.

“FELIX NO”

—— END ——

**Author's Note:**

> the end is open to interpretation, does he fall, does he not? Maybe I'll write a second part who knows. I hope you enjoyed anyway. I know my writing is rubbish and this hasn't been checked I wrote it and then just posted it straight away <3


End file.
